Struggling as step mother

Step Mothers

I’ve been stepmother for about 4 years now. Let me just say its been one hell of roller coaster ride that still yet be over. When my husband and I got together his son was only 11 now he is 15 soon be 16. We went from driving 2 hours one way get him every other weekend. So a round trip on Friday after work was about 4 to 4 1/2 hours depending on traffic and stops. Then turn around Sunday and return him the same trip! It was struggling it sucked! I started to be one making trips all-time due to our jobs. Well, I didn’t just do it out love for my husband I did it for his son. Knowing how his life was with his mother. Well, as time went on we talk about custody. Before he was a freshman in high school we did it. Now the son makes me regret it fully! I struggle with it all the time now and think it’s just destroying me as the stepmother! I never wanted to take his mother’s place or his other siblings. I just wanted the boy to learn the right way to take care of himself he didn’t know anything. Not even when he should shower! Those electronics were the most important thing to him! Well, the son got mad because it was months before he saw his mother. She didn’t try I would make him call and talk her it’s his mother. Finally, we planned trip for him go see his mother and other older siblings mind you all 18 and up living on own! After his Christmas visit things got bad, fighting with us failing school saying we ripped him away from his mother. She failed to show up at all court dates! Well, normal teenage mood I would say get over this hump. Summertime he goes back again this is when the bad started. He came back and we found out his half brother is going for custody! Well, filed in wrong courts. The son started his fits rest summer thinking hes going back with his brother. Now we get October court day well thrown out because like said his brother filed in wrong courts. Well, tell me why a grown-ass adult man would tell his brother do anything get CSB called our house anything finds anything. That night our son attacked his father to where man never put hands on his son never spanked him was put into his bed pinned down! Screaming for cops saying abuse screaming his father choking me how he hates him not his father never will take us away from his family hes going destroy our family. Mind you this is not the first time hes threaten to destroy our family! No matter how much I give and do for boy I’m his target! Cops came that night than he was looking for any way leave well threaten kill himself! Well, the hospital did everything suppose to do nothing wrong with him. The boy has been going counseling for a few months back when he came home in the summertime. However, now CSB coming to our house. Not too happy about this because I’ve been down this road with my ex-husband and 2 other kids. We have 4 total together 15 and 11 boy and 8 and 1 girl. 11 and 8 are mine and 8 years old is joint parenting with her father and the 1-year-old is ours together. So we have wide range of ages in our house. I’m told by others I treat my stepson different that I shouldn’t hold him to standers of my other children because he was raised differently. I feel like that shouldn’t matter he’s been living in house fully 2 years almost. I have a big chore board I use!See look not that bad. Is it bad to teach your kids some basic? Is it struggle to hold each kid step or not at the same standers? I mean it is not hard at all in my eyes! This was one of the stepsons bitches the cop why it’s so bad. Why he hates it here! Hell, I feel I need to add brush teeth, shower, wipe your ass. Speaking of bathroom this is what I had put over my toilet for both boys beauce well they leave a mess!So am I suppose to only pick on my son and not my stepson also? Because I’ve gone in after both them the same mess!! No, I hold them both the same. Do I give one harder than other no! I always ask my son the 11-year-old to help the most! IF its help me carry these hampers upstairs or watch your sister so I can go get the clothes out the dryer. So I mean I’m at lost why I’m hated by my stepson when I do and give him so much freeway! I’ve come point he wants to destroy my family than bye sees you later! I’ve come point I just don’t want to deal with him! Is that wrong? Am I supposed to push my self? I’ve done everything be nice to be nasty be mean and it all backstabs! I give in the way his father does backfire! So, I’m just not sure anymore. I have a deal with his our rage for the next 2 year or my family falls apart if I don’t find a way to get this under control me not being happy no more about him being in this house with me. I don’t see it stopping. Since he threatens after everything calmed down if I didn’t let him call his brother that moment when his brother files he will help him no matter what way he has done things because hes not letting his brother waste his money! Mind you his phone was shut off put away, I had a baby on my hip and yet talk to his father about this and got threaten because I said no not right now! Also, this was 9 am in the morning when he was asking to go for walk and I told him, no it is nice if you go outside with your dad and help with what they are doing right into he wanted to call his brother this moment! So I mean its never win-win how I treat him. I’m just really venting to the world because well I’m looking for advice in maybe I’m doing something wrong what can I change? I’m told so many things by others. However, I’m always told I need to treat my stepson different! I don’t think I should have to do that! However, ever kid has been treated differently because they are not all same kid! I’m not sure really. I do feel I treat every single kid in the house different. 11 years old and I have been threw the most than my daughter whos 8 she in two houses that’s a lot guggle. Then 1 year old she stuck my hip its been her and me since the day she was born! Stay at home mama here! So, yes I do everything for this family! Pickups drop off for school whatever sports event boy scouts mind you all day what do at home with the 1-year-old so yes. I’m stressed Mother looking for other mothers in the same type spot!Thanks For ReadingPlease Check out Other Sites Have goingFamily PageShop at Madison StoreWatch Annabelle GrowRick The Crazy Husband Page


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For all these things just $40 to start and once a month $20 to always have all these items just in case is the best way to benefit. I was glad to have MCA to help me out with my Hospital Visit after my car Accident when I was hit by drunk driver on December 2, 2017, at 3am in the morning head-on. Still this day my bills wouldn’t be paid off yet due to lawyers. You never know when you will need one of these things even roadside anything could happen. So check it out Join and also get Friends and Family to join you and help them out. You won’t regret having this trust me.

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We all know how life happens. Cars run out of gas, batteries die, and even the safest of drivers get into both major and minor car accidents. When the unexpected happens, rest assured knowing that MCA has you covered. Regardless of what the case is, rely on MCA to deliver peace of mind when you need it the most.

The membership plans from Motor Club of America provide the service you deserve, and the peace of mind you most desperately want when the unexpected occurs at home, on the road or at the job. Your coverage is not only limited to roadside assistance, but you also have the added assurance of personal accidental coverage, emergency room benefits, discounts on prescription drugs, dental care, and vision care. Help is literally a phone call away.

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When you purchase a Security plan from MCA, your coverage begins 24 hours after your payment has been processed. As a member, you’re never locked into a contract. Members are welcome to cancel their accounts at any time, without any hidden or cancellation fees. Full refunds are granted within 72 hours, and half refunds are granted within 30 days of activating your membership. 

Check this out also Details Of both Plans


UNLIMITED Security Roadside Assistance As a member of our Security plan, you will receive unlimited roadside assistance, unlike our competitors which will only provide you 2-4 service calls per year. Unlimited roadside assistance means 1 service calls per day throughout the entire year. If we’re unable to get your 4 wheel passenger vehicle back on the road safely, it will be towed to the nearest service facility. You will also receive unlimited lockout service, unlimited fuel delivery, unlimited tire changing, and unlimited battery boosting. As a member of our Security plan, you will not have to pay out of pocket with reimbursement hold times unless you prefer to have your vehicle towed to the destination of your choice. All you’ll have to do is sign the required paperwork and you’re good to go. Our unlimited roadside service protects you, not your vehicle. What that means is no matter whose vehicle you’re driving, you can always give us a call if you need assistance. By upgrading to our Total Security plan, MCA will also pay up to $100.00 to provide Emergency Road Service on RVs, Motorcycles, Trailers, and the vehicle’s with a load capacity of 1 ton or greater. With our Total Security plan, you may also have your 4 wheel passenger vehicle towed to anywhere you desire, not just the nearest service facility.

Travel Assistance Reimbursement When a members vehicle is disabled in an auto accident, Motor Club of America will reimburse up to $500.00 for a rental car, lodging, or meals if the incident happened more than 50 miles away from the registered home address on your account. To be reimbursed, simply give us a call to receive your claim form, and submit the required information to us within 90 days.

Planning and Travel Reservations MCA offers free and easy to read, step by step computerized mapping services free of charge to our members. Simply fill out a Travel information card or give us a call. This includes places of interest, resort, motel and hotel information found along your route. You also have a one-stop reservation service for airline travel, car rental, and hotel discounts.

Arrest Bonds Your Motor Club Membership card may be used in lieu of cash bail up to $500.00 when involved in a traffic violation. Although this certificate will be accepted in many states, in some states arrest bond certificates are not acceptable. In Maryland, the certificate is acceptable for $1,000.00, and in other states, they are accepted for lesser amounts than $500.00. Simply give us a call at the toll-free number located on the back of your membership card to receive the assistance you need.

Bail Bonds MCA will arrange up to a $25,000.00 bond to release you from incarceration if you’re driving a vehicle and charged with a moving traffic law violation such as vehicular manslaughter or auto related negligent homicide. Simply call the toll-free number on the back of your membership card to receive assistance. Our legal department will provide the best assistance possible to release you from incarceration.

Attorney Fees Motor Club of America will pay up to $2,000.00 for your attorney to defend you against police charges resulting from driving your covered auto:
·         1. Up to $200.00 for covered moving violations (non-criminal)
·         Up to $500.00 covered auto related personal injury matters
·         Up to $500.00 covered vehicle damage issues
·         Up to $2,000.00 covered negligent homicide | vehicular manslaughter

Stolen Vehicle Reward MCA will pay a $5,000.00 reward to the law enforcement agency or individual responsible for providing the accurate information leading to the arrest and conviction of the person(s) responsible for the crime. The reward is not payable to you, your family, or other members on your MCA membership account.

Credit Card Protection Identity theft has become more prevalent. If you ever become a victim, MCA will cover financial losses of up to $1000.00 plus work with you to help you recover from the act. (This benefit is unavailable in the state of Texas)

The Free WellCard Health Program
These Services are Not Available in Canada
empowers you to reduce the cost of health care with each use of
·         Pharmacies
·         Vision care providers
·         Hearing specialists
·         Prepaid lab test
·         Prepaid imaging test
·         Patient advocacy services and more
If for some reason in the future you no longer retain your membership with TVC or MCA, you can keep the WellCard as our gift to you. For complete information on the WellCard Health program you can go to and click on Get Started and enter the Group ID TVCM. You can also download the WellCard Health app on your smart phone and use the same Group ID TVCM. Remember, this is Free to you. Please Understand that this is Not Insurance. It is a discount medical program. It does not replace COBRA or any other medical insurance program nor is it a Medicare Part D prescription drug plan. WellCard Health does not qualify for essential coverage under the Affordable Care Act (ACA-ObamaCare). Cardholders are responsible for paying the discounted cost at the time of services from participating providers. WellCard Health has no membership fee nor is participation in any organization or purchase of any good or service required to obtain or use WellCard Health. WellCard Health will not share or sell your personal information. This discount plan organization is Access One Consumer Health, Inc., (not affiliated with AccessOne Medcard), 84 Villa Road, Greenville, SC, 29615, This program is not available to residents of Montana, but may be used by non-residents at participating Montana providers. Other state residents please visit for full disclosure statement. Not available in Canada. The DMPO does make available a list of all program providers which include their name, city and state and medical specialty prior to purchase, upon request.

Emergency Reimbursement Benefits Members receive up to $500.00 in emergency cash for Emergency Room or Trauma Center treatment. This benefit will only be covered due to injury in a covered accident. Includes up to $100.00 in cost for each of the following:
·         Cast or Splints
·         Ambulance Service
·         Anesthetics
·         X-Rays
·         ER Facility

Daily Hospital Benefit Receive up to $54,750.00 in hospital cash benefits. That means as a member, you will receive $150.00 per day beginning the first day you are hospitalized as a result of a covered accident. MCA will cover your hospital stay up to 365 consecutive days. Once discharged, you have up to 90 days to file a claim.

Accidental Death Benefit
As a member, you may enroll, free of charge, in our $10,000 Accidental Death Coverage. You may upgrade to our Total Security package to receive additional coverage up to $50,000.
·         The coverage election form must be completed and returned to our corporate office before coverage goes into effect.


Exes who won’t let go after a Divorce

Much like any relationship you enter into what you put up with you, will get stuck with, life after divorce with your newly ex-spouse will be no different. However, mine ended the long time ago and I’m remarried also is the ex-spouse and him still not over it. I am often told stories and scenarios of ex-spouses who just won’t fully let go, or who just do not understand or want to understand that their ex is after divorce, no longer a part of their life. To me, this all falls under the umbrella of control. How many of us after a divorce still try to hinder, effect, hurt or control an ex? I will estimate quite a high percentage, especially if as the other ex-spouse you do not set very strict guidelines for your controlling ex, in what is acceptable or tolerable, in your newly found single life. The following are the list of commonly found issues and how to disengage and fully let your ex-go once and for all.  

1. No personal property boundaries, very often after a divorce one or the other spouse will remain in what was the marital property, set very strict guidelines for your ex-spouse, they are not to enter your home, have a key or make you feel in any way that they will just show up there unannounced. The MSA (marriage settlement agreement) will very clearly give the property to one or the other of you, and the moment this is signed the spouse has no rights to show up, attempt to enter or act in any way shape or form that they own or have rights to said property. If you can not feel comfortable with your Ex not to do this, move home, change the locks, or very worse case if they continue to do this unlawfully, get a trespassing order. It is not OK to feel that you have no personal private space, to go to, or feel safe that your Ex won’t show up at any time. Your Ex may have also left belongings in your home, rest assure that they are on some level doing this as a way to not fully let go, of their life with you. More than likely your MSA will include a clause stating every item in said marital home belongs to the person living in it, (they may vary so double check). In this instant, be polite, give them an exact date that items must be removed by and if this date comes and goes, feel free to box up said items and either deliver them to the Ex-spouse, or Good Will be happy to collect them also, there is no reason except for control that your home after divorce, is filled with items owned by your Ex. 

2. Exes who try to sabotage and make it hard for the other to date or enter into a new relationship, are also trying to wield control over their Ex by behaving like this. This may manifest its self when they sense you have plans, dates or a new love interest, they may not pick up children or not drop them off in a timely manner, they may also, try to orchestrate ways to make you feel guilty for moving on, accuse you of caring more about dating than your children. They may try and micromanage your free time from afar by giving you instructions, chores to do for your children, that they know will interfere with your free time and social life. In this case, a very precise conversation where you spell out to the Ex, that you are following the terms, visitation set out by the MSA and that your free time without your children is yours, and yours alone, may help. In extreme cases this won’t and at that point all you can do is very clearly stick to the MSA, disengage from all other rhetoric your Ex may direct at you, and live your life the way you see fit. To engage, back down or compromise, only gives your Ex the message that you will still be controlled by them, after your divorce and this will be an ongoing nightmare for you to deal with. So be firm, be fair, and remind your self that even if connected still by children, your Ex is no longer a part of your life, you no longer have to listen to them, cater to them, indulge or engage in arguments or discussions with them. Controlling spouses will turn into controlling ex-spouses, so stay strong and do not buy into their manipulation anymore, this is no doubt a factor in why you divorced them in the first place. 
3. Exes who overly communicate, especially if they know you are with a new partner. Ever had this happen? Your child accidentally has mentioned to your Ex that you are headed to a date or weekend with your new partner, then for the entire evening or weekend your phone is bombarded with texts from your Ex-spouse, either trying to push your buttons, or engage you in some kind of drama that is sure to strain your relationship with your new person? Well this situation is common, jealousy and the bizarre and bad perception, that an Ex has a right to do this to you is wrong. When you exit a marriage, you give up all rights to control, harass, have a say in anything to do with your Ex or anyone the person goes on to be with. Your Ex is no longer your spouse, they are no longer your lover, or in many ways no longer your friend, Unless you are lucky enough to have a civil and adult friendship after your divorce, where both your new loves and partners are fully respected. In my experience though this is few and far between. What I feel is really important to remember is that you may not be the first person to move forward after your divorce, but that doesn’t give you the right to try and hold on or set rules for your Ex in their single new life. This ongoing strategy – to allow your ex to harass you by text or calls on your free time, will only lessen the chances of your new relationships succeeding, no one really wants to date anyone, who is still embroiled in some kind of dysfunctional secondary relationship dynamic with their Exes. 
4. Using your children to guilt an Ex-spouse into not letting go. If you are an Ex-spouse who believes just because you have a child with someone you still on some level own your Ex for life, think again. You will always have that child or children together but the reality is your Ex-spouse will go on to fall in love, date, marry or even have more children with someone else. You may have created a child together, and you should find a way to pleasantly co-parent, but besides that, you have no say or control over each other. Peoples ability to use children as some kind of leverage to control their ex-spouse is well documented, as a source of contention after divorce. You really as the person who is trying to be controlled by your Ex in this manner, need to find a way to totally disengage from this, ignore texts, don’t answer calls, answer in very short precise ways, do not take the bait and be dragged into the Exes web of arguing, controlling or giving them the satisfaction of a reaction. This is exactly what the controlling Ex is looking for, the proof that they still can get to you, still manipulate you and still get their way. DO NOT allow this. Nothing, diffuses the situation better and gets you to a happier place quicker, than disengaging, separating yourself from the toxic Ex, and letting everything roll off your back. Not easy I know but like all bullies and control freaks, these people will eventually quit when they realize once and for all, you are not reacting or engaging in their drama. There is a reason that child custody and concerns are a large part of the MSA this is to lessen the children being used as a pawn, as a weapon or as a way to inflict pain on the other spouse. A good rule of thumb is to use this phrase in communications. “Please refer to the MSA”. There is no arguing it, it is set out in a court of law, in black and white and you both signed it, so don’t allow your Ex to think they are above the law, or above the MSA. 
5. A spouse who tries to control who you can date after a divorce, this is baffling, but I have heard it many times from divorcees I speak to. An Ex who will verbalize things like “I want you to date but why are you dating her/him?, I don’t like your girlfriend/boyfriend, I don’t want MY kids around your new girlfriend/boyfriend, anyone else is fine just not them”. This is clearly a crazy form of control unless the new partner is a criminal or someone who may legitimately be a danger to your child, you have no right to say, comment or control who your Ex-spouse dates. You are not their parent, not their partner, and most certainly not their spouse, you even have paperwork to prove it, called a divorce. Generally, an ex-spouse may incorrectly feel that they are allowed to be jealous, allowed to feel insecure, that you moved on or upgraded from them, but this is also 100% the Exes own issues and attempts to not fully let go, and control your situation. You may be tempted to engage or argue or defend your new partner to your Ex. In doing this though you are saying to your Ex that you are listening to their opinion in some form, and allowing them to have some control over who you date. They do not. You are a single adult the ONLY person who has a say in who you date, love or go on to marry is you. In my opinion even if your ex attempts to question you about your new love interest in a polite or kind way, you are under no obligation to answer to them at all. 
As a general rule when giving an Ex-spouse who refuses to let go, an inch they will always try to take a mile. This is why setting ground rules, and being firm, but fair from the start of a divorce is always the better way to go. Follow the MSA, give your Ex no reason to drag you into drama, at the first sign of communication that smells like control or manipulation- disengage. Remind yourself that divorce is a severing of interpersonal relationships between two people. Remind yourself that like all other aspects of divorce, time is much better spent focusing all your energies on the present, and future and ceasing to spend them on anyone or anything from the past. Your children are your children, and their love for you will not alter based on you spending time, focusing on your new life, new relationships or new goals. Happy parents make for happy children. It is also a good time to remind our self that we can not control other peoples behaviors, we only have the power to control our own reaction to them. When you do ignore and disengage, the other person will always eventually stop, as they are getting no reaction, and most likely will transfer that controlling streak to their next relationship, rendering us once and for all free! So anything you can do to get that place quicker does it. Good luck and if you find your self as the person who maybe is having trouble letting go, the same advice applies, spend your time, energy and focus on building your own life to be as happy as you can make it, trying to inflict pain and control on an Ex will not get you to a happier place or future ever.  

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It’s a Girl. We are expecting our bundle of joy around September 8, 2018. 
Ricks ideas for name BillyJo BobbySue or BillyRay BobbySue. 
We head back doctors in two weeks get some more pictures due to the fact she was very active today and wouldn’t let us see very much but her back and butt mostly! 
Just to think she will RUN before she WALKS! 
Having both Rick and my personality’s this will be a very fun adventure. 

Cleveland Trip

B.A. Sweetie Candy Company
6770 Brookpark Road Cleveland, Ohio 44129

Being in Ohio for 11 years I never thought to go this place. in fact one my jobs had me next door this place a lot and never thought to take a break and walk in check it out at all and wishing I did very long time ago.

See I called it I’m going to Candy Land! Lolly Pop Lolly Pop. Don’t mind the messy bag I do miss that job at times. Well now on to current more photos from the visit.

We found glass bottle soda yes for me its Soda I was not born and raised in Ohio where these crazy people call it POP its a soda. They also have a awesome ice cream shop where you can get just about anything. Sit at these cool tables with swings and don’t forget you can color on the table.Check out our fun photos below.

Now just look that ice cream that makes you want to go check them out right!
Well go back top click on title and brings you there page check out times when open!!!

The Rest of Our Life

Sitting with you in a dark room
Warmed by a fireplace
You know there’s just something about you
You brighten my day
I got something to run past you
I just hope I say it right
So I take your hand and ask you
Have you made plans for the rest of your life?
There’s one thing I should be killing off and giving up now

And that’s worryin’ about life

Oh, I’ll be fine

If one gray hair shows, I’ll be fine

If my waistline grows, I’ll be fine

Even if time takes its toll

We’ll stay young for the rest of our lives

I’ve been making plans for children

Since I’ve been looking in your eyes

I even have names picked out for them

Daughter’d be Rose

Son it’d be Ryan

There’s one thing I should be killing off and giving up now

And that’s worrying about life

Oh, I’ll be fine

If one gray hair shows, I’ll be fine

If my waistline grows, I’ll be fine

Even if time takes its toll

We’ll stay young for the rest of our lives

I don’t really care about those storm clouds brewing

Oh, as long as you’re here by my side

Oh, we’ll be young, oh we’ll be young

Oh, we’ll be young, when we’re old

Oh, I’ll be fine

If my gray hair shows, I’ll be fine

If my waistline grows, I’ll be fine

Even when time takes its toll

I’ll stay young for the rest of my life

With you, I’ll stay young for the rest of my life

With you